I admit it, I hate the mouse. Not just any mouse, but the BIG mouse.
I'll go out on a limb here and offer that Disney is not invested in kids – except for the purpose of wrangling more money out of their parents. But before you write me off as a quack (insert Donald Duck joke here), hear me out.
Those high-interest "kids shows" appeal to most kids simply for the shock value. Those cute, tough, and sexy characters are fun to watch. You know why? Because when I repeat what they say on that show to my friends, then I fit in with my age group – because that's what they're watching. Disney is king you know. There's nothing else on.
I'm not a fun hater. I'm just old enough to remember the real Mickey and Pluto. And maybe you do too.
Listen up, Disney. If you offered programming with more substance, more respect, more intelligence, perhaps I wouldn't have to work so hard at censoring your TV programs from my kids.
What, am I being too harsh?
Hey, how about adding a few more slams and more cutting sarcasm between characters on your shows, because I really like the idea of my kid being trained to think more like a bully. Poke more fun at people's appearances. Those "I'm better than you," implications really help me out here. And the threat of a post to the Internet to change someone's behavior, brilliant. That'll teach 'em.
Keep up the good work of characterizing parents as oblivious and just dumb...I like it when my parental role is viewed as unimportant and unneeded. It really takes the pressure off.
Please, will you throw in more crass references to bodily functions. "Move your molasses!" "Butt-load!" "Milk my duds!" "Fartfeathers," "Booger-face," "Stay out of my butt!" That's such good, solid material to stimulate the thinking mind of my child.
And pretty please - I'd like my young girl to be more interested in boys at age 9 – it builds her perception of what's valuable at this stage in her life. Will you give us more shows with giggly, half-dressed preteen girls texting that hot guy in the back row?
Walt would be appalled.
If you ask me, Disney's losing the magic, or maybe, I'm recognizing the black magic they have going. Disney used to be uplifting and far more reliable in positively influencing kids. Parents used to be able to trust Disney. I'm not aware of any parent cheering Disney on, or begging them for more. Kids sure, because as a kid your number one goal is not to be weird.
I want my kids to be good, positive people. I'm committed to that, and I will do everything in my power to keep them away from influences that suggest otherwise. Yes, even if that makes us weird.